Break $tuff

So f@#$ing peeved

I’m pissed.

Every morning I wake up madder than the day before.

I’ve been a freaking beast lately. Just a rage monster fueled by hate and energy drinks. I don’t even waste my time with coffee anymore or anything natural. I want to inject my body with something man made that comes from chemicals. Every morning I wake up at 6am to Limp Bizkit BLARING out of my phone. I punch the walls to wake my neighbors too. If I have to live another day, so do they. 

I scream into the alley behind my house from 6am to 6:30am. It helps me wake up. 

After that I go to work and don’t try hard at my job AT ALL. I check my email once or twice each hour and mostly just walk around making small talk with whoever will listen. I complain about how expensive things have been lately. I drink a lot of water and pee three times per hour. Sometimes I luck out and the bathroom close to me is closed for cleaning and I have to walk FAR to empty my bladder. Sometimes I take a detour and go to the office snack bar on my way back. I might get a protein bar or a LaCroix if I’m feeling it. Sometimes I just look and let the clock spin. If I have a meeting and I don’t agree with someone I YELL at them. I don’t care if it’s unprofessional. Sometimes my coworkers annoy me but they are lucky I can’t HIT them.

At around 1pm I clock out for the day and go to the gym. I do 45 minutes on the stairmaster at its medium speed (impossible for many others to do). I listen to music that makes me feel angry. Mainly LIMP BIZKIT these days. Something about them. I suck down an entire water bottle after my 45 minutes is up. Water tastes good after sweating a lot. I rip out some ab exercises to feel sore tomorrow. I do a chest exercise. I load up the bench press and listen to Pod Save America. Something about that podcast makes me hate liberals and makes my testosterone levels max out. I see red. I lift double my max weight when listening to Pod Save America make quips about former President Donald J. Trump. 

I go home and drive dangerous on the highway. I take the 405 on my way home from work. It’s a very popular highway in the Los Angeles area because of its size and location. It’s my preferred route because I know it well. I go on my phone and text friends to set a plan up for later in the week. Looks like traffic is busy today. And so are my friends. I slam on the brakes and put my phone down. The semi truck driver next to me is on his phone. I think about what kinds of plans he’s setting up. I gesture to my phone in my hand to show I’m also on my phone. He nods. What a bro. I make a sudden lane change without using a blinker because I am done wasting my effort on people who don’t give a FUCK about ME. 

After work and taking care of my body, I take care of my mind. If you haven’t seen me in a while I have a six pack now. I read every day from 4pm to 6pm. That’s the length of a movie, but instead I use it to read a book and experience less story overall but do more thinking. Books are good because I can change all the looks, genders and races of characters to my own PREFERENCE. Any time the author describes something and I don’t agree I just skip ahead until there's new action. I am the ultimate authority of my own fiction. 

My neck gets uncomfortable reading for prolonged periods so then I take a walk. Walking is good for you. When I walk I focus on my posture. I stare at my reflection to keep myself accountable. In college we would yell “PC” at each other, standing for “Posture Check.” My friends were awesome at keeping me accountable for posture. Drinking? Um, yeah that’s a story for another day. 

For hobbies I mainly love rock climbing, scrolling on my phone, and working on my boat. Since I’ve been so freaking pissed off lately I decided to go postal on my Marine Toilet. Anyone else have a Marine Toilet that’s a serious pain in their A? Yeah well I do. My Marine Toilet spews sewage all across the Master Stateroom in my 36’ yacht. I switch on the water pressure pump and sewage comes out. Raw stuff, sewage, raw and untreated just comes out. All over the floor it makes a mess. I have to get down on my hands and knees and scrub ‘til its gone. I suck it up with my vacuum and dump it in the marina at night. My neighbors ask what’s going on and I ignore them. I just blast music in my Airpods so I can’t hear them. Mainly Limp Bizkit. They’re the loudest. Best for ignoring people. 

The best thing I learned about being angry is sometimes it's good to break stuff. When your Marine Toilet absolutely spits sewage all over you, you might get a little mad. You might even get pissed. You might get mad for flooding your boat with normal water even, but raw sewage? That’s a different kind of pissed. That’s the kind of pissed I get when I hear those Pod Save America fruits talk about former President Donald J. Trump if I’m being honest. Not to get political. Sometimes it’s good to break stuff because you learn that maybe it was already broken. Sometimes it’s good to break stuff because you can then figure out how to unbreak it. You have to break a few eggs to make a delicious omelet after all. 

I broke the toilet. Today. I stripped it down and everything. Took my ratchet set out and straight unbolted it from the wet floor. Threw it in the back of the boat like it was in time out. Everytime I went to flush it, water spewed out the rear. Didn’t know what was back there. Couldn’t reach it. Had to get back there, Absolutely ripped the thing straight off the bolts. Disconnected water. Pulled the discharge connect off like I was mad at it. I was mad at it. Yanked that thing out the bathroom and took it out back for inspection. Vacuum breaker completely SHOT. Just gone. Gasket all deteriorated. Made me so mad just looking at it. Couldn’t even flush the damn thing in this condition. Couldn’t pull a vacuum. You know what a vacuum toilet that can’t pull a vacuum is good for? Nothing. Pissed me off. 

Went to get Sweetgreen. Got a protein plate. Ate it. 

Thinking about the toilet again. Pissed it was in the condition it was in. But because I ripped that thing off the bolts I got to learn that. Now I can go buy a composting toilet or a five gallon bucket. I needed to not be in fear of breaking it and just let it sit. I had to pull on it, tug it, twist it, torque it, bop it.

Damn, sometimes breaking stuff is good.

Charlie